SOTU (I wish I had something better to do)
I don't think the Democrats are listening anymore. I think someone's passing around a Gameboy with Tetris on it and they're having a tournament.
Every time Dubya smirks, an American loses a job.
This wine isn't working. I need tequila.
Cheney's coughing. Quick! Get the defibrillator!
Is Rangel asleep? Wait, no he's reading something. That or getting a kickass score on Tetris.
"Healthy responsible children." Insert Jenna and Barbara joke here.
Why is he talking about steriods? Why is he tougher on steroids than on terrorism? Tom Brady you should be ashamed of yourself!
Defence of marriage, here we go. Santorum has been waiting for this moment all night.
Is this over yet?