Monday, August 25, 2003

Can we make a case for committing right-wingers en masse?

This probably won’t fly, especially coming from such a well-known partisan like myself (nearly 2,000 hits! Woo Hoo! I know, no-one reads me), but that’s no reason to reject the proposal outright. And to be fair I’m not suggesting we commit all conservatives and Republicans. I’m sure there are many red-state types are as dismayed as I at the current state of affairs. But let’s face it; as a party, Republicans have totally lost touch with reality.

Let’s look at the evidence.

The Flypaper Theory: I should probably keep my trap shut on this one, but it seems to me that the logic in this argument is—well—not there. But don’t take my word on it. Josh has thought about it more and is considerably smarter than me.

Now, we've already had the 'flypaper' theory: that guerilla attacks against American troops are a good thing because we're pulling 'the terrorists' out of the woodwork and attacking them on our own terms. And now we have what I guess we could call the 'paradoxically positive mass-casualty terrorism event' theory: that mass-casualty terrorism events show the success of our policy since they are a sign 'the terrorists' are becoming desperate.

Yes, you do have to read it more than once ‘cause the sheer bland gall of that statement kind of ricochets off the common sense modules of your brain. I not only share Josh’s skepticism but take it a step further. Isn’t there something slightly manic about this way of thinking? Don’t psychotics rationalize violence with mock logic? What other kind of person could look at a mass bombing and say, “This is actually pretty good.” I could say more but I don’t know anything about psychology really. Moving on.

Religious Fanaticism: George “God Made Me President” W. has made it safe for religious whack jobs everywhere to come out of the closet. Take the case of Justice Moore in Alabama. One would think that the monument was actually THE Ten Commandments, superglue and all. This suit is more than tenacious. It’s obsessive and likely to end his career. I don’t know what the medical term might be for this but I know crazy when I see it.

California Recall: Do I really have to deconstruct this? Batshit insane, every last one of them.

Fox News vs. Al Franken: This is the best of the bunch. Before, I would have willing to dismiss this as simply Fox News and Bill O’Reilly being candy-assed spoiled children. But when you are candy-assed and spoiled to the tune of $61 million…well what can I say? Obsessive, paranoid, deluded, can we throw these people a Thorazine kegger?

I could go on but what good what it do? Coulter, Tucker, Friedman. It might be funny for a little while but it would get repetitive. And jesting aside it’s not all that funny. Let it never be said that this blog discriminates against the insane. I’m not after them because they are crazy people. I’m after them because the are crazy people with air time and expense accounts. So let’s start a letter writing campaign, raise some money, circulate a petition. Commit the Right-wing Crazies. Can I get an “Amen?”

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