Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Garrison Keillor's Apology to Republicans

A friend emailed this to me and I thought it was hilarious:
Having been called names, one looks back at one's own angry outbursts over the years, and I recall having at various times referred to Republicans as:

hairy-backed swamp developers,
fundamentalist bullies,
freelance racists,
hobby cops,
sweatshop tycoons,
line jumpers,
marsupial moms,
aluminum-siding salesmen,
misanthropic frat boys,
ninja ditto heads,
shrieking midgets,
tax cheats,
cheese merchants,
cat stranglers,
pill pushers,
nihilists in golf pants,
backed-up Baptists,
the grand pooh-bahs of Percodan,
mouth breathers,
testosterone junkies
and brown shirts in pinstripes

I look at those words now, and 'cat stranglers' seems excessive to me. The number of cat stranglers in the ranks of the Republican Party is surely low, and that reference was hurtful to Republicans and to cat owners. I feel sheepish about it.

My personal favorite? Backed-up Baptists, although Constipated Christians is more inclusive.

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