To say that I'm not looking forward to this inauguration is like saying that the apocalypse may ruffle my feathers. Bad enough that it's happening at all, but Bush seems also intent on raping the corpse.

President Bush's second inauguration will cost tens of millions of dollars -- $40 million alone in private donations for the balls, parade and other invitation-only parties. With that kind of money, what could you buy?

--200 armored Humvees with the best armor for troops in Iraq.

--Vaccinations and preventive health care for 22 million children in regions devastated by the tsunami.

--A down payment on the nation's deficit, which hit a record-breaking $412 billion last year.

If you need me I'll be at the bottom of a bottle of Merlot.