Stuff You Just Can't Make Up, Part II

Who do they think they're kidding with this sh**t? President DeepThroat wants us to know that he shared really neat, chummy, best pal crossyourheartandhopetodie secrets with five handpicked reporters, but he doesn't want us to know that he knows that we know that he knows that he was the source, or something like that. And by handpicked, I mean kissass.

Bush's views emerged from an unusual 80-minute session in the Oval Office with five network correspondents who agreed that his comments would not be directly quoted or attributed to him.

Word of the meeting got around before it was over. Several people provided accounts of it to The Washington Post but spoke only on the condition of anonymity because, in the view of the White House and by the agreement of the networks, the conversation never officially occurred.

But just what was this hush-hush super classified info?

The Oval Office session was designed to show Bush as eager to campaign and fight back against Kerry, and to portray the president as engaged in the issues of the day. The meeting was supposed to run just half an hour, and Bush seemed to enjoy showing that he could handle whatever topics were fired at him, according to the accounts.

SHHH!!! But, Ok, and then say that I looked fabulous and that I could name the capitols of all 50 states!