Stuff You Just Can't Make Up, Part II

Who do they think they're kidding with this sh**t? President DeepThroat wants us to know that he shared really neat, chummy, best pal crossyourheartandhopetodie secrets with five handpicked reporters, but he doesn't want us to know that he knows that we know that he knows that he was the source, or something like that. And by handpicked, I mean kissass.

Bush's views emerged from an unusual 80-minute session in the Oval Office with five network correspondents who agreed that his comments would not be directly quoted or attributed to him.

Word of the meeting got around before it was over. Several people provided accounts of it to The Washington Post but spoke only on the condition of anonymity because, in the view of the White House and by the agreement of the networks, the conversation never officially occurred.

But just what was this hush-hush super classified info?

The Oval Office session was designed to show Bush as eager to campaign and fight back against Kerry, and to portray the president as engaged in the issues of the day. The meeting was supposed to run just half an hour, and Bush seemed to enjoy showing that he could handle whatever topics were fired at him, according to the accounts.

SHHH!!! But, Ok, and then say that I looked fabulous and that I could name the capitols of all 50 states!

Stuff You Just Can’t Make Up

"If you isolate sexuality as something solely for one's own personal amusement, and all you want is the most satisfying orgasm you can get- and that is what homosexuality seems to be-then homosexuality seems too powerful to resist. The evidence is that men do a better job on men and women on women, if all you are looking for is orgasm." So powerful is the allure of gays, Cameron believes, that if society approves that gay people, more and more heterosexuals will be inexorably drawn into homosexuality.

Wonder if the good doctor knows about this

Speaking of Jon Stewart, I really wish I lived in D.C. right now.

You're Spain!

You like rain on the plain, as well as interesting architecture and
a diverse number of races and religions.  You like to explore a lot, but sailing,
especially in large groups, never really seems to work out for you.  Beware of pirates
and dictators bearing bombs.  And for heavens' sake, stop running around bulls!
 It's just not safe!
Take
the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

How appropriate! Thanks to Rittenhouse for the link.

Jon I love you but sometimes…

Tuesday night on Stewart had John Podhoretz has his guest. Now I know that it’s not technically a political show and that I shouldn’t hold The Daily Show to a higher standard than another news show, but does John Podhoretz really merit a fifteen-minute time slot?

I like The Daily Show and Jon is still the smartest guy on television but I think he’s stuck in the old bipartisan debate of, “Extremists are always wrong.” It’s one thing to criticize “extreme thinkers” on both the left for not listening to each to other. But shouldn’t he also point out that a lot of these so-called Bush bashing books have some basis in reality?

I’ll forgive you Jon if you have Paul Krugman on.

Hee hee!

Remember "The Greatest Story Ever Told," the Jesus epic directed by Hollywood heavyweight George Stevens? Remember being mildly upset upon seeing John Wayne dressed up as a Roman Centurion at the foot of the cross?

Hollywood legend has it that after hearing Wayne say his one line in the movie -- "Truly this man was the son of God" -- Stevens suggested he try delivering it with "more awe." Wayne dutifully did the take again, solemnly declaring: "Awwww, truly this man was the Son of God."

Or as I remember it, "...son-agod."

Oh Fair New Mexico

Thanks to Atrios for the link.

Sandoval County Clerk Victoria Dunlap says the county plans to issue marriage licenses for same-sex couples.

(snip)

[New Mexico] State law defines marriage as a civil contract between contracting parties. It doesn't mention gender.

So far from heaven and so close to Texas.

Sometimes when stupid people say stupid things the results are just sublime.

Americans "have been tolerant of homosexuality for years, but now it's being stuffed down their throats and they don't like it," DeLay said.

Hey, Tom. Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it.

It’s nice to be proud of your mayor.

A devout Catholic, Daley scoffed at the suggestion that gay marriage would somehow undermine the institution of marriage between a man and a woman.

"Marriage has been undermined by divorce, so don't tell me about marriage. You're not going to lecture me about marriage. People should look at their own life and look in their own mirror. Marriage has been undermined for a number of years if you look at the facts and figures on it. Don't blame the gay and lesbian, transgender and transsexual community. Please don't blame them for it," he said.

From the Professor

Christopher Hitchens writes,

"I'm a single-issue person at present, and the single issue in case you are wondering is the tenacious and unapologetic defense of civilized societies against the intensifying menace of clerical barbarism. If in the smallest doubt about this, I would suggest a vote for the re-election of George Bush, precisely because he himself isn't prey to any doubt on the point. . ."

Say what you will, Hitchens does have the courage of his conviction (as he says, it all comes down to the one), which means that we'll need to have the courage of ours: If the other side truly believes that the choice is between Bush and Al Qaeda, then they aren't prepared to lose no matter what the vote totals say.

Prepare for the worst, and just maybe we'll have a chance.

Valentine's Day fun

The Texas soufflé

Here's a very interesting article from The Progressive Southerner

...Referred to as George Bush, Jr. by newspapers in those days, sources say he also tended to show up late every day, around noon or one, at Blount's campaign headquarters in Montgomery. They say Bush would prop his cowboy boots on a desk and brag about how much he drank the night before.

(snip)

Many of those who came into close contact with Bush say he liked to drink beer and Jim Beam whiskey, and to eat fist-fulls of peanuts, and Executive burgers, at the Cloverdale Grill. They also say he liked to sneak out back for a joint of marijuana or into the head for a line of cocaine.

(snip)

Bush also made an impression on the "Blue-Haired Platoon," a group of older Republican Women working for Blount. Behind his back they called him "the Texas soufflé," Archibald said, because he was "all puffed up and full of hot air."

(snip)

Two books now contain the charge that Bush was arrested for possession of cocaine in 1972 in Texas, most likely in late November or December after his stint in Alabama. Bush was allowed to perform community service in 1973 by working for a minority children's program in Houston, Professionals United for Leadership League (PULL), chaired by his father. The record of that arrest was expunged, meaning he apparently received the equivalent of Youthful Offender status at the age of 26.

Not only does this article touch on Bush's questionable stint in the Texas National Guard, his cocaine use and heavy drinking, it includes cameo appearances by Osama bin Laden, Lee Atwater, Karl Rove AND mentions that Tom Blount, (son of Winton "Red" Blount, whose campaign Bush was working on) "co-produced and underwrote a telling movie called The Trip, set in the period from 1973 to the early 1980s, about a young gay Texan and his conservative Republican lover."

Just go read it.

Just when you thought it was safe to work in the US

Five suburban teenagers lured two immigrant day laborers by promising them jobs, then beat the men with pipes, sticks and fists and stole their money, authorities said.

The teens spent the money, about $570, at restaurants and stores, said Jeff Lance, assistant police chief in Canton, about 35 miles northeast of Atlanta.

``It was just taking advantage of the weak -- the big kid on the block syndrome,'' Lance said Thursday. ``It appears it was for run-around money.''

The suspects are white and the victims Hispanic, but Lance said the attacks were not considered hate crimes.

Okay, strictly speaking it might not be a hate crime. But you'd have to be pretty naive not to believe that the fact that the workers were Hispanic had nothing to do with it.

Not so funny when it's you

Like most of us David Brooks doesn’t have the talent to write a really good column which is of course why he wrote this one. But if he were an actual writer—and not merely the heir-apparent to a swiftly tilting William Safire—I’m sure this is the column he would have written.

David Brooks: I know this column is crap. I know my career, my party, and possibly my whole sense of self are made up rationalizations, half-truths, and fanciful red state/blue state binaries. Do you think I wanted it this way? Do you think I don’t see my sanity going the way of Bush’s public support?

But you see I am a war columnist, and being a war columnist means forgoing thoughtful interesting writing in favor of cribbing the cast off notes of Peggy Noonan.

I look at my fellow columnists Krugman and Herbert. They seem to think that the job of a columnist during wartime is to remain firmly rooted in reality.

But they should understand that for me reality is complicated and unpleasant nothing is as important to me as escaping it.

I know I could be fired. I don’t know who reads me or even care. But I do know that all will be right with the world if Bush is reelected.

More on the People's Gas--Enron probe

llinois Atty. Gen. Lisa Madigan has subpoenaed Peoples Gas for information about dealings with its parent company's joint venture with Enron Corp., the utility said in a filing Monday with the Securities and Exchange Commission.

Hmm. Maybe this will actually go somewhere.

Kudos to O’Reilly for taking baby steps into reality.

Bill O'Reilly has finally conceded the race to Hillary Rodham Clinton.

For weeks the Fox News star has been pushing the notion that his book ("Who's Looking Out for You?") would outsell the New York senator's book ("Living History"). But bulk buying, he declared, would not count, because "the Democratic National Committee has bought a ton of her books and gives them away for contributions."

After an e-mail exchange with DNC spokesman Tony Welch, O'Reilly last week acknowledged that the organization has not yet bought any Clinton books, though it plans some promotional giveaways.

"It was just for sport," O'Reilly says. "We wanted to see if we could beat her. Everyone loves a horse race."

Says Welch: "It was a silly attack that he tried to get some juice from. On this one he was wrong -- the numbers indicated which book people liked best."

O'Reilly told viewers that Clinton's book had outsold his, 1.1 million to 800,000. Actually, says Robert Barnett, Clinton's lawyer, "Living History" has sold 1.5 million copies and, he disclosed, an additional 1.2 million overseas. He also praised O'Reilly's 800,000 in sales -- the commentator's third No. 1 bestseller -- as "a fantastic accomplishment."

O'Reilly calls himself "the dumbest guy in town" for not realizing how books can be promoted onto bestseller lists and says he believes Clinton's political committees bought a large batch of hers (only 1,200, says Barnett, and those aren't included in retail sales figures). But he has wised up: Billoreilly.com has sold 25,000 books purchased from Barnes & Noble.

Shorter Meet The Press with George W. Bush:

Tim Russert: Mr. President this is what your critics are saying and here is the evidence to back to them up. How do you respond?

Pres. Deer-caught-in-headlights: Well Tim, they're just wrong. Everybody else is wrong and I'm right, and Jesus Christ an hour's an awfully long time. Karl, save me!

Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you're an asshole

...But the hope here is that Mr. Kay's repudiation will diminish some of the sense of moral righteousness coming from the Bush White House.
Though it wasn't publicized at the time, Prime Minister Paul Martin got a sense of that sanctimony when he met with Mr. Bush in early January in Mexico. Mr. Bush let the Prime Minister know that he believed himself to be on the side of God and tending to God's mission.

The Canadian side, while aware of the President's penchant for religiosity, had been expecting to talk more about softwood lumber than the Ten Commandments. The Canadians didn't expect the morality play. Nor did they expect that, almost in the same breath, Mr. Bush would be filling the air with the f-word and other saucy expletives of the type that would surely leave the Lord perturbed. Nor did they anticipate a pointed attack on French President "Jack Cheerack," as Mr. Bush called him, for his views on the Middle East.

(emphasis mine)

Praise the Lord, and pass the f****ing ammunition.

I have not blogged much this week. I was too traumatized by Janetgate. But I haven't forgotten you so here's a Friday chuckle courtesy of Eric Alterman.

Mawwiage is what bwings us togevah

Okay, I've been trying to get my mind around the whole wringing of hands and shaking of fists and vows to pass an amendment to the Constitution to "defend the sanctity of marriage" crap that's passing for statesmanship these days. Shouldn't that little thing called "separation of church and state" that our forefathers (and mothers) sacrificed so much for make it clear to our elected officials that they CANNOT go 'round defending the sacredness or sanctity of anything?

John Kerry, while not exactly jumping on that particular bandwagon, has said he disagrees with the Massachusetts court and only supports civil unions for samesex couples. John, John, John...what are you afraid of? Let the churches work out what is sacred and let the government serve it's citizenry. You've bucked your own Catholic Church on abortion, they're already saving a nice, warm spot for you in hell. Besides, they don't even recognize civil marriage as marriage. That's right, buddy. People who go down to city hall to tie the knot in a civil ceremony are LIVING IN SIN, no matter what Uncle Sam says.

And what is the difference between 'civil marriage' and 'civil union' anyway? Does it involve Crisco oil?

But maybe Kerry was really saying what he seems to be saying here:

"I support equal rights, and the right of people to have civil union, equal partnership rights. I don't support marriage. I never have. That's my position."

We don't need no stinkin' marriage!